i’m crazy-mad with anger, frustration and confusion….

15 May

I can’t effing believe anything!! My head is fucking screaming.  I feel like I’m going crazy.  Seriously WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

minor operation Monday morning last.  sinuses.  no big deal.  Twenty minutes under a general anesthetic.  Discharged the next morning.  Warned of occasional nose bleeds.  Handed a batch of pain relief meds, some swabs, a letter for my doctor, advice on how to ‘nasal douche’, and told to not do anything too strenuous for a couple of weeks.

Okey dokey. Piece of piss.

WRONG!

WHO THE FUCK forgot to mention , never mind understated, the after effects of general anesthetic.  Even the little bitty one I had.  FOR FUCKS SAKE!  Excuse the bloody swearing but I’m down-right furious with paralysis of my brain.  I mean where the fuck has it gone?  I feel trippy(I imagine ). psychotic (i imagine), schizophrenic (i imagine), confused, lost, scared, sick and down right INEPT.

I can’t bloody function!!  I’ve turned into a MAN (sorry – now about to offend 50% of the population). BUUUUT, single track , single task ,single-minded (at best) brain function completely and utterly SUCKS.

Its shit.  Honestly – I can’t even make foUr people breakfast at the same time. GRRRRRRR

Honestly.  I feel light-headed.  I feel confused.  I’m having nightmares. hallucinations.  I can’t work out what I’ve done and what I’ve imagined (dreamt ) I’ve done.  Night sweats. I have moments when i can only describe as ‘out of body’..  I can’t focus. The frustration is driving me insane.  Or has the anesthetic driven me insane.  I know I was a bit quirky before.  But Christ I could do one thing and think about something else.  I could fry an egg and microwave some bloody baked beans at the same time.  This is SIX DAYS.  several somebodies cheered me up by suggesting it could be MONTHS until ‘normality ‘ resumed.

why don’t they tell you?!?!  NHS listen up . THIS IS A MASSIVE BIG DEAL.  ITS A LIFE STOPPER. A GAME CHANGER. A MIND FUCKER.  PREPARE PEOPLE FOR IT. FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!!  AAARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH

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