Tag Archives: wellbeing

When your body tells you time out is required…

23 Sep

It’s been a long year.

Scrub that.

It’s been an unbelieveably short but ridiculously full on year.

Seemingly weeks ago it was New Years Eve and now the Christmas ads are back on the TV and I’ve even started picking up the odd stocking filler.   Very early for me.  Usually I refuse to consider Xmas until after all our November birthdays.  Still, I have to accept it’s not been weeks but nine whole months since New Years Eve and it’s just gone in the blink of an eye.

It’s been fabulous to be fair, but now Hubby and I are reaching melting point.  Personally I feel pretty much physically and mentally broken.  And looking at Hubby (despite all attempts to put on a brave face and cope with everything I can’t), it’s pretty clear he’s in much the same place.

Image result for exhaustion

I’m at the point where everything is exhausting.  Even the fun stuff.  And we all know how I love the fun stuff.  But I’m so exhausted I’ve started declining party invitations (shock horror!).  The idea of doing anything at all can sometimes feel overwhelming.  Not so much the actual ‘Fun’ bit of the fun but the getting to and from the fun.  The travelling anywhere at all has become fun prohibitive.  I have got to the point where I miss out because I can’t face the journey.

A few weeks ago, I had a long trip to a social event .  I had stressed and cried and panicked about the journey.  500 mile round trip for an event I could not and did not want to decline.  But (and I know how melodramatic this sounds) the journey near broke me.  Nothing untoward happened. I travelled alone with the radio for company.  There were no road traffic incidents; just the usual delays and holdups you would expect entering towns and city and at major road junctions;  but the sheer number of hours on the road just wore me down .  Both physically and mentally.  I hurt for days after and my brain went into ‘essential processes only mode’.

The FUN between the two long journeys was fabulous , but the recovery from the travelling made me declare ‘NEVER AGAIN’.

Despite this, two weeks later we had to do the same journey, this time I had Hubby and Teen in tow.  I did none of the driving.  And the FUN between the travelling was truly the most fabulous of fun times (that being true even though I’m ‘Sober September-ing and Stoptober-ing… another day , another blog)

I can’t say the mental and physical trauma I felt was lessened by not having to take responsiblity for the driving.  I felt at least as terrible.  Physically I ached for days after from sitting for so long; body being ‘rattled’ by the movement of the car and the passing of the never-ending miles; head lolling from the dozing off etc.  Mentally it was exhausting and disorienting; the drifting in and out of consciousness into fitful sleep; the sudden awakening from a jolt, sharp braking, sudden lane change, impatient acceleration, road rage rant from Hubby; the hours of conversational silence but at the same time the constant white noise of road and traffic; and then the momentary panic when you open your eyes to find yourself seemingly hurtling towards the back-end of a lorry; or simply being somewhere completely different and not knowing where you are (how do little kids cope with this?!).  you get my drift.  Drifting in and out of sleep is a mind-fuck.  I just can’t handle it.

A friend of mine struggled for many years with quite severe ME.  Her brain would over-react to even the slightest stimulation.  Her body would cramp with pain to the slightest of exercise.  In order to get a decent nights sleep literally everything had to stop by about 8:30pm.  All the things I would think of as relaxing eg: watching a movie, listening to music, chatting on the phone with a friend.  Physically she had the same problem no leisurely walks, bike rides, train trips for her.  To visit me to recuperate would just be too much to consider.  The journey would physically debilitate her for days/weeks, that gentle rattling of the body  would render her bedbound.

I know I don’t have ME, and for that I am very grateful.  However, this friend, in her fight to manage her illness and recover some semblance of normality into her life, really did teach me a few valuable lessons.  Some years ago, on another occasion when I was far nearer the brink of life overwhelming me, I ‘ran away from home’ and hid out at her house.  I literally got in the car to pop to the shops and ended up driving 250  miles to her front door.  During those few days we often sat together for hours, in the garden or at the kitchen table; mostly in silence, with gathered windfall fruit and slowly peeled, chopped, cored.  It was her self-imposed mindfulness for her own wellbeing and it became my first experience of it.  The first time I ever gave myself permission to live just for that moment and no other.  To sit there and just be.  without the guilt of ignoring the ‘to do list of life’.  Self imposed mental recovery.

These days I recognise the signs of impending meltdown.  Usually before it’s too late and, usually, I find the time and space to do something about it.  And usually that something only needs to be an afternoon, a day, an early night, a long bath, a vocalisation, an admittance, a cancelling of an activity, a reality check with Hubby.

Hubby who is a marvel always recognises my need even before I do, and has prepared for it, made space for it.  Usually  I can (almost) guilt free allow him to take up my slack and not feel (too) guilty for being a wuss and a light weight.  Generally I can accept my need to stop for a bit and have learnt to see this recognition as a strength not a weakness.  Generally he will just take up the slack and cover for me.  And, (trust me Hubby if you are reading this), that part of our partnership is so very highly valued, I recognise it and love him for it.

However this year.  Right now.  I can tell that he too needs to stop.  We both need to seek out the silence and still our minds.  Find ourselves.  Find each other.  We both need a few days without agenda.  when we can go or not go; do or not do; talk or not talk.  We both need to lock away our ‘to do list of life’ and wallow in a period of free (non) thinking….

So our challenge is to find a gap big enough to make this happen…….

…….

Image result for time for a holiday

I wrote the blog above yesterday, in the old analogue way, long hand on paper with a pen as I live fairly remotely and in some places there simply is no internet access.  Because of it, I came home and whilst sitting with the intention of typing it up,I instead found myself searching for time out options.  We needed a break but I couldn’t cope with a lot of travel… within hours I’d booked us a 4 night break in Rome travelling from the local (Cardiff) airport and its only 11 days away!!!!!  The simple act of writing about the need made me truly see the need and act on it, so thank you blog community.  The relief of making the booking has in itself taken the strain out of the every day…I am already more relaxed  just knowing it’s happening so soon.  …As for Hubby, I can safely say he is as excited as I am…..

Lucy At Home

My Random Musings
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…After the crash..

23 Apr

So yesterday I literally did nothing. I managed to get up and feed my B&B guests complete with smiling and chatting . Then I went back to bed. I slept until nearly 2pm… Despite Hubby trying to wake me at noon. I stayed awake long enough to reheat a cup of tea in the microwave. Sat on the front doorstep in the sun and fell asleep. Woke briefly when Hubby popped home. Long enough to get a pillow and a deck chair. Then slept in the sun.

Stayed awake to eat supper, fell asleep in front of TV. Had an early night and slept right through.

This was me crashing… I refer to my blog from yesterday … Oh yes I did find a moment or two to articulate my crash in blog form.. but that really was the extent of yesterday’s activities.

So today I am already three gardening jobs behind, racked with guilt and stressed by my backlog.

I sat down this evening, knackered and aching from head to toe. As I berated myself for my pathetic state I announced to myself “for Christ’s sake woman you only did 3 hours work today, get a grip”…. Long pause as I’m now lying in bed. This was my day:

Woke 7:30. Got up and prepped breakfast for our 6 B&B guests

Placed an order with our stained glass suppliers

Did 3 hours heavy digging and weed clearing.

Drove the 20 miles to our nearest  supermarket. Did the weekly shop

Collected our son

Unpacked shopping

Spent an hour tidying in my own garden

Had a bath

Cleaned the bathroom

Made a roast dinner…

… So to be fair, considering my physical and mental state… In fact, irrespective of my physical and mental state, today was pretty full.

..And now I can add, ‘wrote a blog’, to my achievements for today.

On that note, I am going to turn of the light and zzzzzzzzzzzz

Life: Mine: It’s full: Very full

9 Apr

15016351_1247664865307784_3338542209251484497_oI’m a woman.  I’m self-employed.  I’m fairly ‘alternative’ and, am told, slightly ‘eccentric’.  I wear many hats.  Not all suit me…

Life gets confusing and chaotic……

Here’s perhaps why….

13912605_1298769933474183_1529318925936773135_n???????????????????????????????I’m an artist, I occasionally do pet portraits, I often do stained glass commissions. I do have an Etsy shop, which I manage in a very ad hoc way.  I promise to keep a stock of my designs but the artistic bit of me is really only interested in the bespoke commissions and one-off designs , so I struggle to find time to hold stock.  So I make my designs to order.

20170322_123236I teach stained glass.  It’s a new string to my bow.  I love it.  I find it immensely satisfying and it brings me huge amount of joy.

I run a B&B.  This involves being really nice to (mostly) lovely people, talking (a lot), keeping the place clean, ironing sheets (even though I’d never iron my own) and cooking really gorgeous breakfasts.  I do this with my hubby.  We love working together.  It works.  Coming to stay at Cerdyn Villa is like staying with friends (so we’re told) and that, my lovelies was the plan so things her are going well

breakfast

I manage our business website and various tourism pages on social media.  Some of these pages… “www.cerdynvilla.wales” is our lifestyle hub (ooo fancy!), it leads you off to “Pink Butterfly Art and Glass” – my Etsy shop; “Pink Butterfly at Cerdyn Villa” -our FB page combining our B&B and my art; http://www.cerdynvilla.co.uk – our B&B website; “rose-tinted Ramblings” – my blog; “Home of Bog Snorkelling” – the tourism FB page for our town; “@Berni_Benton” – my twitter account

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’m a gardener – I look after six people’s gardens.  Mostly elderly ladies, some of whom like to garden with me and its as much about the company as the weeding and pruning.  I LOVE weeding (does that make me odd?  I don’t care, I LOVE IT!)

peanut butter cheesecakeI work shifts in the local cafe and cover for the owners if they go away.  Sometimes I even bake some cakes!

I blog.  For fun, but mainly to keep me sane and promote my work(s) (not necessarily at the same time). Its called Rose Tinted Rambling, but you know that because you are here now.  It’s mainly a brain dumping ground.  Most thoughts evolve whilst I’m either ironing or weeding and I can’t rest until they’re typed.  So there! I try to categorise to avoid you haven’t to read the ‘boring shit’  but I’d say there’s pretty much something for everyone here.

I  advocate for a local elderly lady and manage her finances. It’s my ‘pay-it-forward” – we should all have one.  It’s great to give back.

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I volunteer, Working to help run the weird and wacky events in Llanwrtyd – I am the commentator at the World Bog Snorkelling and Man v Horse.  They gave me the job because, and I quote “if the PA system breaks I’d still be loud enough for everyone to hear”.  Hubby said he could hear me from the house last year and I was three-quarters  of a mile away….

… I hasten to add the mic was working that day.

I am responsible for keeping our household accounts.  Although hubby takes my figures and does the scary bit of filling in the returns and sending them off

I do all the food shopping, planning and feeding. Sometimes I do this well.  Other times we eat out!

I ‘manage’ a tenanted house with 5 flats.  Not for fun, at all, but because the landlords were neighbours but now live in Spain.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We keep hens, that means they have a house that needs cleaning

11182523_1594413547510404_4888338233642762611_oI’m a mum………

………………………………………….

……..in my spare time (!!)

I do a bit of yoga and belly dancing

a vision in red

I look after my own garden (sometimes I get dressed before I start)

11168862_1046829525379356_5330321855820313332_oI’m a member of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (say hello to Lady Lily the Pink).  I even stood for the Welsh Assembly

I soak in a bubble bath

I enjoy a good live band

I read the occasional book.  mostly I read blogs  and watch TED talks

I snuggle on the sofa with my Hubby and watch Netflix

I play board games with my boy(s) – son and hubby

I eat out with friends

I eat in with friends

I drink out with friends

I drink in with friends

Sometimes I just drink…….

I love my life, but planning is difficult.  Impossible actually.  So it appears chaotic.  and sometimes it really is.  It also appears disorganised.  But actually it rarely is.  ….

….it just feels it

Logistically its a massive challenge.  It’s so far removed from the 9-5 life I used to lead.  I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

diaryofanimperfectmum

It’s real but it’s not reality…..

11 Mar

menopause 5
I can feel myself slipping. Like I’m in a Banksy installation. “Un-fair”

I’m on the helter-skelter… only it’s slide is not very slippery  so some moments I’m slipping slowly down and in others  I’m grabbing the edge and bumping myself further down by force.  Not only am I slowly heading down the spiral but the spiral ends in a dark pit of sticky clay so should I get to the bottom by feet will quickly be caked and I’ll be fighting to wade my way back out.

There’s  a sombre inevitability about it. I’m on the ride and gravity suggests the easiest option is to keep on the ride.

But it’s  a shit ride and I want to climb off.

But do I ride the spiral and try to get off at the bottom? I don’t like the claggy thick clay. It’s really tough to wade through and I’m not sure I have the physical strength to do it.

The other option is to stand up on the unslippery slide and walk back up the slope, like a teenager in a kids playground. Declare the ride ‘crap’ and come back down the steps into my Spring garden which I know is just the other side of the gate. Resplendent with tete-a-tete,  daffodil, crocus, snowdrop, primrose and camellia all in full glorious bloom. I need to get back to my Monet.

At the moment I’m wedged a third of the way down this narrow slide and my too fat frame is friction-wedged against the rough metal. It’s a choice. Push down or pull up.

That . My, friends, is the beginning. I’ve been stuck in this bloody Un-fair for days and nights.

menopauseSo I’m stuck in an unreal reality. My head is showing me a gloomy backdrop which is blocking the real view. Some bastard has messed with my mirrors. It’s another exhibit in my Banksy Un-Fair. All the mirrors create a body dismorphic reality. My face is a Jackson Pollok. It’s me but it’s not ME .

I know what I’m seeing and feeling is not reality, but that doesn’t make it any less REAL.

If you suffer from depression , anxiety  or hormone related emotional imbalances (and many of you do, I know I’m far from unique) then perhaps you can relate to this.

I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m guilty. I’m frightened. Shall I ramble on? If I haven’t bored you to press the ‘back’ button yet the next chunk of self-indulgent morose rambling may just tip you over the edge.

So here I am in my rose-tinted world still yet, this week, I’m entangled in this heavy thick net from which I am desperately trying to extract myself but it’s becoming such a tangle I’m all tied up and tripping in the chaos of it.

menopause 4

I can see John out there trying to free me from it. I can hear him telling me to stop struggling as I’m making the tangle tighter. He’s trying to unknot me so I can squeeze out through a gap. I keep managing to get an arm out and he and friends are pulling  and holding onto me to stop me getting more entangled.

For that I am simultaneously grateful for the wonderful people around me. Sad, at the worry I’m causing. Guilty about being so pathetically self-indulgent. Angry that this has happened, to varying degrees, since I was a teen and still the medical profession fail to recognise or deal with women’s hormonal cycles. Never has a doctor suggested, acknowledged or acted on the obvious fact that I clearly have both a monthly and a quarterly spiral. Never.

So. I am grateful to you all for being.  I’m apologetic to you all for the lack of rosy-tint in these latest posts. And I am hopeful that the act of writing it (as grey and gloom filled as it is) will give my mind the strength it needs to lift itself up and drag my being back up the slope and so I can climb off this shitty ride.. .

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Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

.

Honestly i’m not a psycho bitch…

9 Mar

Note to self. At least 2 days prior to your period and until that moment of release ( readers you may recognise this switch moment in your own cycle) … until that moment, try your absolute best..  in fact, lock yourself in without access to social media, phones or people… Give someone else the key.. do not socialise, or communicate.. you can not be trusted to be rational or civil. Recognise you are a danger to your own sanity.  That you are likely to cause, at best, mild upset or offense to someone you care about.  Your brain has no control over your emotions; you overreact; you self-doubt; you lose confidence and competence.; you become intolerant and strike out. You cannot control this despite the talking to that you give yourself and despite the knowledge that if you gave it 48 hours normal responses and attitudes would prevail. You have now warned yourself. Let this be your reminder. Avoid human contact and keep your head down……

… as ever this sound advice fails to get actioned. Partly because sometimes commitments prevent isolation. Sometimes because no sane person is brave enough to suggest you’re not in the right mind to be allowed contact with the public.

So. Should you be one of the unfortunate ones who is on the receiving end of a 48hr madness of mine, I can but apologise profusely and hope that you know me well enough to know that I cannot help the temporary insanity my hormones induce every 28 days.

Normal service will be resumed shortly….

Faith, Spirituality, Empathy and Humanity

21 Feb

I’m not completely sure of everything that I believe in.

For example, I can’t say how I feel about ghosts, spirits and their ability to communicate across planes, the form they take or whether they exist at all. I don’t know what I feel about spirits although I’ve weegee’d a fair bit and seemingly contacted various ‘spirits’.  I don’t know how I feel about sentient spirits interacting with living people in that I accept something is happening but it’s probably something to do with our subconscious minds.  I find it hard to accept that there is a true ability to interact across planes of existence (if there are other planes of existence).  I have several friends who I would explain away as extremely empathetic , but who consider themselves to be Mediums or Spiritual Healer.  I suspect a lot of healing comes from the belief in being healed.  I accept there are a lot of unanswered questions and  I do think there is more out there and more capacity within our brains than we yet understand or tap.

I do believe that we have subconscious and conscious skills beyond those that most of us use.  I also believe that way back before we became ‘civilised’ we were more able to tap into our instincts, communicate more intuitively and work alongside nature/seasons/elements.  I do believe that our energy lives on.  Science proves that energy is neither created or destroyed.  When we die our physical bodies decay and feed the earth, growing plants, feeding animals, continuing the circle of life.  Weather there is a ‘soul’ that exists separately? Whether this ‘soul’ contains consciousness and awareness of life as we know it? Those are matters on which I remain open to further evidence and scientific study.  I am definitely a sceptic.

I am however, completely sure of what I don’t believe.

I do not believe and feel it factual to say that there is no all-seeing divine, super being(s) controlling/orchestrating who is good/bad; who is healed/left to suffer; who is constantly watching/ignoring; who is determining our individual fates here/in any alternative life.  Religion is a man-made conscript which has evolved and changed through the millenia to suit those who dictate it and is dependant on where you were born and with what fables you were raised as to which story/ supreme being each individual worships.

I do however, have great faith in the inherent goodness of (wo)mankind and its abilities to make a difference by offering positive thoughts/kindness/actions to others. I do believe that a charitable and positive outlook makes you a happier more enriched person.  I do believe that actions speak louder than words.  That giving is receiving.  That laughter and friendship are the best medicine.  That love conquers all.

(I would add to this quote “and all life” after “fellow human beings” )

I am, at heart, a Humanist.  I find strength and solace in my friends and acquaintances.  I gain and grow from exploring new paths, listening to others and sharing kindness.  I try to stand up against wrongs; be loud for those who feel they do not have a voice; offer support to those who do not have the strength.  In return I try to accept the love and help of those around me , who feel the same essence of humanity and want to give of themselves as I want to give of myself.

This week I have been struggling.  I have felt pain and weakness and fatigue.  Friends have offered support each in their own way. Sympathy, spiritually, practically.  I’ve had massage, pampering, kind words, visits and positive energy sent to me from all directions.  Its interesting, because those with a religion will say they will pray for you.  Perhaps this is the same as me or other friends , offering positive thoughts.  Although we are offering humanity and nature up as a healing source; and those of religion are requesting that their supreme being consider looking out for you.  In both instances the intention is the same.. it is a human wilfulness to care for your best interests and well-being.

The world around us; plants, animals, seasons, skies, and all of nature are suppressed by the unnatural infrastructure we have created.  Nature will eventually win out.  We cannot tame it .  We might adjust it for a time.  But when we leave, either voluntarily or through our own demise.  Nature will take over again.  The evidence of our footprint on the earth would soon be buried deep in the earth and nature will , if necessary continue without us.  We can forge our own battles against it for our short-term convenience and gain and nature will let us; for a while.  But, when we push too far, get too greedy with the resources of this planet, nature will fight back and win.  And it might well do it without us being part of the natural future.

We think we are supreme, intelligent and resourceful because we build, invent, communicate and utilise the resources of this planet.  Because we are now reaching beyond our world and in time will do the same on distant planets.  But there are limited resources, limited tolerances that this planet and atmosphere will allow us to control.  There has to be balance.  Greed and corporations are not balance. They are egos.  Egos will eventually lose to nature., be they a whole race, an economic construct, or a political ideal.  These artificial controls of resources for greed, control and financial gain will eventually fall; but at what price to humankind?

Interestingly, and surprisingly as I’ve sat here ‘mind dumping into written word’ the words spilling into this blog are not those I had expected.  I was meaning to extrapolate into alternative healing and goodwill and have turned instead to ecology and economic politics!  Fortunately, for me at least, that is the joy of just leaving your fingers to ride the keyboard and spill the mind onto the page.  I never quite know where it will lead … sometimes, quite often actually, I’m not even aware that the thoughts that appear were even in my head.  Oh the joy of letting your mind do the talking!

Anyway, today I am being extremely kind to myself.  I am being mindful.  I am listening to my joints and muscles, I am giving them permission to rest and heal.  I am reading, writing, sitting, resting.  I am allowing my friends to advise me and guide me.  I am letting my husband allow me the freedom to stop.  I am relaxing, recovering and regaling my thoughts to you all.

Try it.  Let your mind wander through your fingers from a starting point of your choosing and see where it takes you.  You may discover something new about yourself .  Or try mine about ‘belief’.

I would love to hear from you xxxx

https://i2.wp.com/orig09.deviantart.net/d608/f/2012/338/8/b/pervez_hoodbhoy_on_secular_humanism___by_rationalhub-d5n19f0.png

My Random Musings

Migraines….

12 Feb

How many of you suffer from migraines?  Do you find their arrival predictable?  Do you have a recognised set of symptoms?

Personally I usually get mine at the beginning of or during my period (a common trigger apparently).  They begin with a mild headache that will not shake when normally a couple of paracetamol will quash it.  By the time I realise I’m getting a migraine there’s nothing I can do because I can’t keep anything down.

The headache takes on a pressure that makes my head and neck so heavy. My head throbs, my cheeks ache, my gums are painful, my eyes feel like they are bulging.  I then become supersensitive to light, movement and noise.  The pressure on my head makes me feel nauseous.  The only release is to vomit.    Thus starts a cycle of vomiting and agonising pain throbbing throughout my head,neck and face.  A dark quiet room is not dark enough or quiet enough.  I need a slight weight on my head and eyes so I put on an eye mask and I put on a hat or a compress.  I climb into bed in between trips to the bathroom to be sick and ride it out for about 8 hours.  Then I sleep.

The next day I am flimsy, that’s the best word I can come up with.  I feel very shaky and fragile.  I feel like I could use a head and neck brace… I feels I can barely support my own head without help.  I’m not sensitive to input but unable to keep up with it. I certainly am not safe to drive.  It’s like my eyes and ears see or hear something and there is a notable delay in processing.  That means I can cope with a small amount of input but if things happen too fast I can’t cope at all.

I know that the following morning the world will be ‘normal’ again.

Do any of you have regular, or predictable migraine symptoms? What are they? How do you deal with them?

Self-doubt, stress and sickness

30 Mar

Sometimes its possible to just feel ‘not quite right’, not sick as such just ‘out of sorts’ .  If , like me, you suffer from anxiety based illnesses it’s possible (I find, as I can only talk from experience), to find it difficult to judge whether you are ‘sick’ or feeling ‘down’ and as such, feel sick.  That doesn’t mean that ‘down’ is not a valid sickness, it’s just whether the symptoms derive from the anxiety or from something else like a virus or bug or allegy or something more sinister.

This whole week I’ve felt sick. Really tired, thick head, wheezy.  I’ve not been sick or rushing to the loo but my stomach is definitely very upset.  It gurgles and complains constantly.  Its windy and acidy and intolerent of anything it receives (gross, graphic and not particularly lady-like, sorry!).  Now I know I have a small hiatus hernia (very common , nothing to worry about), I also know I have to take medication for acid reflux and in the past have been treated for an oesophagal ulcer.  I also aware that when I overdo it I ‘fade’.  I kind of shut down.  I don’t want to go out, I can’t face work and my brain struggles to focus.  My head and body feel weighed down and sluggish.

Whatever the ‘real’ reason, the facts are that my head aches, I’m tired.  I’ve slept every afternoon this week and most of yesterday.  My stomach is genuinely ‘not right’.  But would I feel better if I just got out there and weeded someones garden a bit (as a job not just for the hell of it!); or got out my sketch pad and started producing drawings for the commissions I have waiting; or started cutting glass for a commission already agreed; or did my tax return; or got my head around the catering order for next weeks Sunday lunch… Maybe just the list is too long and I need to breathe and focus…..

….Or maybe I do really just need to go and have another little lie down

So, why do I feel a ‘fraud’ when I feel ‘sick’?  I think its because my feelings of wellness and my drive and enthusiasm and focus swing wildly from day to day; sometimes morning to afternoon; and sometimes I know to work through it and I do and its fine.  Sometimes I think I know to work through it and I do and its not fine I go into a decline.  SOMETIMES I make the descision that its a bug and rest and then wonder if I’d feel better if I just got on with it and the slouching around is a catalyst for feeling more ‘sick’.

So the question is, is it just me or is it you too?  Do you worry about these things?  When do you know it’s ‘sick’ and time to see a doctor, or ‘sick’ and recognising the need to slow down? Or ‘sick’ and you just need to give yourself a good kick up the backside?

dont’t worry its only a Haiku….

3 Mar

Thank you @YeahWrite1 and @LiveBySurprise, because of you both I am writing my first haiku…. and following from my blog of last week “Don’t Worry Its Just PMT, ”

 

Period Pains by Berni

Angry. Clumsy clot…

Dulled mind. Aching head to toe

More blood, sweat and tears

 

 

It’s a new year… It’s a new day… and I feel good…

22 Jan
I Am The Creator of my Uniiverse

I Am The Creator of my Universe

2015
the year for me to invest more energy in art and craft…
the year to recognise myself as a reasonably good artist
the year to promote my skills
the year to drive my focus into art and craft as a means of earning…
…if not a living, then a slush fund
…or rather a wine and play day fund

2015
the year to remember and thank those friends who knew me when i didn’t know myself
Who supported me and held me up when i didn’t have strength
and who laughed and played with me when i did
and who are there…
…whenever
whose presence in the foreground and in the background colour my world and solidify my foundations

2015
the year to embrace and to let go
to wallow in great relationships
to pride myself in raising a great and happy young man
to learn to let go, but still hold on
be there for the falls but stand back and enjoy the spectacle
as he dances and soars, as his wings unfurl to reveal their true light and colour

2015
another great year to carry on and to embrace life
to stand up and protect the weak
to be brave and believe in the ‘right’
to use my voice…
…and speak openly and honestly
to continue to be me.
whilst you continue to be you.
To be true.
another great year to be, and to be is to be great